Random Musing Before Shabbat - Pesach VII 5768 - Department of Redundant Anamnesis Department

In keeping with the theme from my 5761 musing for Pesach VII, which I redundantly used again in 5765 (with a few extra thoughts), a little redundant redundancy as I re-use that same musing for even more "Redundant Anamnesis." Though, as always, I couldn't refrain from adding a few new thoughts for this year as well..

Random Musings Before Shabbat-Pesach VII 5761 (Revised 5765, 5768)

Redundant Anamnesis

A quick thought before this Shabbat. It's a word I've used before. Literally "again to remember" but more commonly seen as "making the past present." It is surely something we do at our Pesach Sedarim each year. In fact, we are commanded to act as if we ourselves had been freed from slavery in Egypt. And it is a theme that is carried through the Pesach festival. On the seventh day, we read again all of parashat Beshalach plus just the first few lines of Yitro (Exodus 13:17-15:26.) We once again recount the miracle that Gd performed at the Sea of Reeds. We "remember again." We also read the few short lines from parashat Pinchas in Bamidbar that speak of the Pesach festival (Numbers 28:19-25.) We "remember again." (Though notice, cleverly, how the sages have us not read the first 3 lines of this passage, which describe the time and first day of Pesach. Perhaps they wish to remind us that we are at that seventh day, the one that is to be a holy occasion to us, as told in the last line. And by starting at verse 19, and including the lines about the sacrifices, it reminds us that we perform these rituals throughout the Festival.)

Our sages were wise. They knew that just remembering for two nights of the seven days of the Pesach festival weren't enough. They chose readings for Hol Hamoed and the last days of Pesach that continue the process of anamnesis.

And the haftarah from II Samuel (22:1-51) is yet another bit of anamnesis, as David recalls the miracles that Gd performed for him, allowing him to be victorious over his enemies, just as Gd had performed miracles for Israel during the Exodus. [Imperfect a human as he was, we read in these words attributed to him David's wavering between moments of hubris (look at what I did) and humility (look what Gd has done.)] (2005)

[It's also interesting to examine the differences between Moses' song and David's song, particularly in the imagery of Gd. The Gd in Moses' song is much more the active warrior. And there's no hint that it was other than Gd who brought forth the miracle for which Moses is now singing Gd's praises.] (2005)

[2008- In re-reading this Haftarah, I am really stunned by the warrior G"d imagery. This text, and many others, set a precedent for self-righteous religious puffiness, something we ought to be avoiding and not endorsing during Pesach. I'm a great hero because I have followed G"d's ways, so G"d will do battle for me, and enable me to do well in battle. Where's the humility? Where's the compassion. Why can't David pray something like this:

Dear G"d
I have tried so very hard to follow Your ways
And though I may not have always been able to live up to Your expectations
You have always been my protecting shield
Perhaps you find some merit in me
That you enable me to defeat those who would oppose me (and therefore oppose You)
And give me skills and intelligence to succeed against my enemies
I am no hero, G"d.
I am but Your humble servant
May you continue to be merciful and compassionate
When we left Egypt, and Pharaoh's army was drowned in the sea
Did you not rebuke us for celebrating without noting the tragedy
That some of Your creations had to die?
O Rock and Protector,
May we know a present and a future with no need for heroes, for war, for killing, for suffering
And may we always regret the war, killing, and suffering in our past.

Well, I'd like to think it's what he could have said instead. Oh, well.] (2008)

[There's also three wonderful verses that give a different idea of the balance that Gd may have been seeking with the "lex talionis" (eye for an eye.) In II Samuel 26-28 we read:

With the loyal You deal loyally
With the blameless hero, blamelessly
With the pure you act in purity
And with the perverse You are wily
To humble folk You give victory
And You look with scorn upon the haughty (JPS)

(Not to argue with the scholarship of the editors of the JPS Tanakh, but a more literal translation might be:

With a pious one, you make yourself pious
With a blameless hero, blamelessly
With a pure one, You make yourself pure
With a twisted one, you make yourself tortuous
To humble people, deliverance
And in your eyes the high are made low)
As David says in the preceding verse, Gd deals with us as our purity appears to Gd.  A balance is attempted by Gd to mete out just treatment. Yet this is a rather human trait-to treat others as they treat us. And the temptation to deal with the wicked with wickedness is hard to resist. But I digress. Back to our redundant anamnesis.] (2005)

And on the 8th day of Pesach we perform yet one more act of anamnesis with a Yizkor service, bringing our deceased love ones to life through remembering them.

So, while it may seem redundant to say "redundant anamnesis" that's exactly what we have here. Repetitive remembering again. And how wonderful and meaningful it is to do so. To live each day of the present as though the miracles of the past were happening to us, right at this moment. [In a way, they truly are. We are, after all, still here. That, in itself is a miracle. Let's not be so quick to attribute this to our own stubbornness and stiff-necked-ness, lest in our hubris we are made humble by Gd.] (2005)

[2008 - I cannot emphasize this enough. Our survival cannot be entirely attributed to our stubborn nature as a people. And if that is what we count on to carry us into the future, we should be wary. Yes, our stubborn nature has helped, but I wonder if, instead, we might try another approach?] (2008)

So, have a little anamnesis this Shabbat. Remember. Remember again. And again. And again. Until you truly are one with the past and it is one with you.

Shabbat Shalom,

Adrian

©2001, parts © 2005 and 2008

An Amazing Person

I have been fortunate in selecting the staff I work with in my various positions over the years. Sometimes you find some real gems among them. Here's a link to the blog of one absolutely amazing teacher I have on my staff. I've sort of had the opportunity to watch this incredible young woman grow from a young child, albeit only from once a year or so encounters at CAJE Conferences. It gives me chills and thrills to actually have her on my religious school staff now. If you want to be inspired by a can do attitude, I encourage you to check out the blog of Tamar Straus-Benjamin. Her story is far from over, and she's well worth keeping an eye on. Yet you'll be amazed what this incredible young woman, facing the difficulties of CAPD (central auditory processing disorder) can teach you. She has certainly taught me.

I was cognizant of Tamar's challenges, but, speaking frankly, they never really entered into the thought process of inviting her to come teach for me. I'll also be honest enough to say that I probably haven't provided the best working environment or support for Tamar, but it is a testimony to her resilience that  she has done a most amazing job. She is beloved by the students she works with. She has an incredibly keen sense of spotting the various challenges that a student might face, and an extreme sensitivity in working with those students. Would that every one of my teachers could have such sensitivity.

She is also, first and foremost, a mensch, if you'll forgive the use of the male terminology. Tamar doesn't just talk the talk of Judaism, of dealing with learning disabilities and challenges - she walks the walk - in every way. I'm inspired by her, and discovering her blog, I hope I can point the way for more of you to find inspiration from this truly amazing person.

Random Musing Before Shabbat - Acharei Mot/Shabbat HaGadol 5768- Why Wait for Elijah?

It couldn't be any simpler or plainer.

From the haftarah for this Shabbat HaGadol, the Shabbat before Passover, from Malachi, last of the prophets.

Malachi first lambasts the people

6 For I am the Lord—I have not changed; and you are the children of Jacob—you have not ceased to be. 7 From the very days of your fathers you have turned away from My laws and have not observed them. Turn back to Me, and I will turn back to you—said the Lord of Hosts.

The choice is ours:

19 For lo! That day is at hand, burning like an oven. All the arrogant and all the doers of evil shall be straw, and the day that is coming—said the Lord of Hosts—shall burn them to ashes and leave of them neither stock nor boughs. 20 But for you who revere My name a sun of victory shall rise to bring healing.

Yet, ultimately, in the end, ki l'-olam khasdo, God's kindness is everlasting:

23 Lo, I will send the prophet Elijah to you before the coming of the awesome, fearful day of the Lord. 24 He shall reconcile parents with children and children with their parents, so that, when I come, I do not strike the whole land with utter destruction.

As I wrote about recently, our Christian co-religionists have concluded that humankind is utterly irredeemable, and only an ultimate sacrifice will do. Our own Jewish tradition takes a different viewpoint. We are indeed obstinate and stubborn. The wicked will ultimately perish. However, God seems determined to not left that happen. Somehow Eliyahu will bring out the best that is in all of us and when it is time for God's judgment, we will do God proud.

I have a suggestion, however. Let's not wait for Eliyahu to come to make it happen. At our seders, when we open the door for th prophet, let's let him in. He'll be there is we want it to be so.
Ken y'hi ratson. Ken y'hi ratsoneinu.
Shabbat Shalom and a Zissen Pesach,
Adrian
©2008 by Adrian A. Durlester

We're Not Tarheels, We're Pickles - Keep NCSA NCSA!!

Dont let them change NCSA's name!

Sign the petition at http://www.ipetition.com/petition/NCSAname/

or write to: proposednamechange@ncarts.edu

I am fortunate to be a member of a privileged few - those lucky enough to have been a student at the North Carolina School of the Arts.

Composer Vittorio Giannini was on the faculty at Juilliard during the time I was beginning my studies at the Preparatory Division*(see below) of The Juilliard School. In 1963 he left Juilliard (and his other positions at Manhattan School of Music and elsewhere) to become the founding president of a new institution, the North Carolina School of the Arts (NCSA)

NCSA was a product of the North Carolinian golden age under the leadership of Governor Terry Sanford. Brainchild of Governor Sanford and historical fiction novelist John Ehle, it was established to be "the professional training, as distinguished from the liberal arts instruction, of talented students in the fields of music, drama, the dance and allied performing arts, at both the high school and college levels of instruction, with emphasis placed upon performance of the arts, and not upon academic studies of the arts."

For three years, until his untimely death in 1966, Giannini shaped NCSA into a model performing arts training school. Composer Robert Ward replaced Giannini, and continued to shape NCSA through its first decade.

I came to NCSA in 1973, just in time to be selected to work with Duncan Noble as stage manager for the NCSA Tenth Anniversary Celebration. (I'm convinced to this day that this was like a fraternity rite - "let's give the little punk from New York City something to knock the chip off his shoulder.")

The training I received at NCSA was just what I had been looking for. I had looked into the programs at Carnegie Mellon, CalArts, and the newly opened SUNY Purchase. Surely the more cosmopolitan setting of Pittsburgh for Carnegie-Mellon, or SUNY Purchase's close proximity to the great white way would prove more attractive. Then I had somehow been reminded (perhaps by my Mother) of that school off in the boondocks that Giannini had left Juilliard to found.  My interview visit to Winston Salem and NCSA was all it took to convince me that NCSA was the right place. Here was a truly "professional training school." The hands-on learning opportunities available were far in excess of those available elsewhere to freshman and sophomores.

NCSA was indeed unique. In some ways, especially socially, it was a rather bewildering experience for this shy, piano-playing, bookish science nerd from NYC. However, the education and experience were exemplary. The required cross-training (acting and dance class for techies among them) as well as a breadth of training in the technical theatre arts required by the School of Design and Production (I never did get the hang of costuming but I did try) have stood me well in my professional life. Even now, when I have left my 25 theatre career for a second career in Jewish Education, the things I learned at NCSA, the teachers who taught me, and the friends I made continue to be a part of my everyday life and work.

(My NCSA skills are always with me. Whether it's entertainment at a CAJE Conference, a Purim Shpiel, or the Jewish Folk Arts Festival where I managed the entertainment, the techie inside me still gets it chance to shine. Twice, in the last four years, the local Jewish community here in the DC Metro area has produced a mass-choral extravanganza at the beautiful new Strathmore Music Center. To whom did they turn to try and figure out the logistics of getting 500 people on and off stage, and to serve as liason with the tech staff. Yep, the NCSA alum among them, me. And unlike the many other local community groups that come to utilize Strathmore, the PM and tech staff don't go running off to hide, and roll their eyes when they know I'm their contact.)

In the 80s and 90s, when I was managing performing arts facilities, I knew that the touring shows coming through with NCSA alumni on their staff would be smoother experiences. Through my activities in the United State Institute for Theatre Technology (USITT), an organization I was introduced to and first joined while at NCSA, I could always sense the awareness of NCSA's professional reputation. When the School of Filmmaking was added, almost 20 years after I was a freshman, I knew that this reputation would only grow bigger.

I am always amazed at the many graduates of NCSA, whether dancer, musician, singer, actor, techie, designer, visual artist, whose names appear in show and film credits, and who have won awards. I am also amazed at the number of my fellow alumni who are still hard at work doing what they learned to do at NCSA.

A while back, NCSA's current president sent out a note that they were considering changing the name to make NCSA's connection as a constituent part of the University of North Carolina system. The proposed new names was "The University of North School of the Arts." Initially, while I found the idea distasteful, I was somewhat resigned to the idea that, given the "way things are today" in politics and academia, I suppose this was an inevitable change.

However, given a chance to reflect upon it, I came to the conclusion that such a change would be more than cosmetic, and could potentially change the very nature of NCSA. Given NCSA's stellar record, particularly because of its uniqueness, name recognition is important.

Make no mistake - From its inception, NCSA was part of the  University of North Carolina system. Hard to forget that when the daughter of the President of of UNC, William Friday, was a student. I am certain that the good citizens of North Carolina have been, and remain keenly aware of NCSA's place as a unique opportunity within the UNC system. I recall touring about parts of North Carolina, showcasing the school to students.

Below are excerpts of an email I wrote  in response to the solicitation of reactions to the proposed name change:

I have come to conclude that changing the name of NCSA by adding the "U" in front  has the potential for changing the character of the institution that has so lovingly and successfully empowered over 4 decades performing and visual artists, can pose potential negatives for student recruiting, and is also disrespectful to the alumni of the school...

The founders of the school choose carefully and wisely in both location and name, creating a school that was at once both unique and recognizable, yet a source of pride to the people of North Carolina. I recall with great satisfaction and fond remembrance being part of the NCSA Showcase that went on the road to different corners of the state. While we  might have thought of ourselves as that "neurotic crazy students asylum" the good people of North Carolina that we encountered on the road appeared to be pleased that such a specialized education was available to their children. There was no doubt in their minds that we were part of the educational services available to them through the auspices of the UNC system-they didn't need a "U" to tell them that. It was equally clear that they were intrigued by the uniqueness of this particular component of those offerings, and saw it as an alternative for those children who were passionate and serious about the performing and visual arts...

In the three decades I have been away from North Carolina, I doubt that NCSA's reputation and renown has decreased, so why the sudden push to change the name? I don't believe the good citizens of North Carolina are any more confused about the fact that NCSA is part of the University system than they were in the 70s. I think it does the citizens a disservice to assume that they don't know this, and that they need this "special reminder."

As to those from out-of-state, I can only wonder if they can be so easily convinced to apply  to the finest performing and visual arts school in the country - a place where the individual and unique passions of students can be realized - if the first perception they have is that it is just another cog in the machinery of a huge university system.

While I haven't yet made a reunion, I had the opportunity to visit the campus two summers ago. Even during that time, without the hubbub of student life all around, the passion was palpably present - the ghosts haunting older, now unused spaces which were new during my time at NCSA, and the spirits now occupying the new spaces. There may have been physical changes, but the school felt the same. I think the name change could destroy that.

I urge the Board to seriously reconsider its decision to support the name change."

While at NCSA, I was a recipient of a scholarship in Vittorio Giannini's name. I want to see the vision carried on under the same good name that it started.

If you are an NCSA alum, or just someone who believes that the name should remain the same, please Sign the petition at http://www.ipetition.com/petition/NCSAname/

or write to: proposednamechange@ncarts.edu

ONWARD, PICKLES! SLING 'EM BY THE WARTS!

Adrian A. Durlester
Design & Production, Class of 1977

*-Juilliard's initial program for students in grades K-12 was indeed the "Preparatory Division" and not the "Pre-College Division" as it is now known. Sadly, Lincoln Center insisted that Juilliard abandon the "Preparatory Division" as a condition of Juilliard becoming part of Lincoln Center because it could have the appearance of being amateurish or sub-professional. Juilliard President Peter Menin resurrected the division as the "Pre-College Division" in the new building at Lincoln Center, but, sadly, not before a large number of promising students and faculty had been left behind. (For me, this was a fortuitous happenstance. The Manhattan School of Music took over the old Juilliard Building on Claremont Avenue. MSM Preparatory Division's, in my opinion, vastly superior approach, proved to be foundational in establishing my initial career and approach to it. Fortunately, as well, my beloved piano teacher, Princess Elena Powstuck-Wolkonsky made the switch to Manhattan. In addition, MSM introduced me to three people who become mentors for me: Cynthia Auerbach (z"l), Jerry Sherk, and M.M. Streicher.

After 8 years of studying piano, solfege and participating in choirs, MSM's Preparatory Division introduced me to a whole new world, especially through its annual Preparatory Division opera production. I wasn't particularly eager to be on stage, or in the orchestra pit, so technical production was all that was left. Somehow, I found myself not just a stagehand, but an "assistant stage manager" which was, for all practical purposes, a jack of all trades. I learned an incredible array of technical crafts including building scenery, lighting, props, scenic painting, rigging, and, of course, the fine art of stage management.

Random Musing Before Shabbat - Tazria 5768 - Just Not Good Enough is Just Not Good Enough

Every once in a while, things just come together. These moments are rare, however, and they can slip by us if we let them. This time, I'm determined not to let it slip by me.

As much as I enjoy the work of redeeming irredeemable texts, all week long I have been dreading the encounter with parashat Tazria. This whole concept of "tum'a," impurity or uncleanness, is difficult for us to wrap our modern sensibilities around. To be sure, there have been many attempts to do just that, through apologetics, referring to the text in its own context, and other means.

The venerable Baruch Levine, editor of the JPS Commentary on Leviticus argues that rather than seeing tum'a as a negative state, we can view it as showing veneration for the significant life events of birth, death, and illness. He asks us to look beyond the layers of superstition that have been added over the millennia.

And so we play these self-deceptive tricks, trying to understand tum'a as a sort of spiritual impurity. We wander through our orchard, our "pardes" of p'shat (plain meaning,) remez (hints of deeper meaning,) d'rash (looking for deeper meaning though comparison, and sod (secret) searching for meaning in our own time and context.

Sometimes, those wandering stray pretty far, as they did for me this week.

The congregation where I work has a sharing partnership, a covenant, with a Presbyterian church - we share the same sacred spaces in the same building. At least once every year (and in practice, far more often in informal settings) our spiritual leaders lead us in a joint interfaith dialog, trying to understand each others' perspectives. This year's topic was "covenant" and the first of two sessions was held this week. Though it was intended to lay a foundation for understanding the meaning of the term covenant in both Jewish and Christian views, the conversation often strayed into tangential pathways. One that seemed to strike a particular chord for the 50 or so folks present was the idea of "original sin."
The Jewish view, in essence (though keep in mind that the answer to "does Judaism believe...?" is always yes, no and maybe) is that t'shuva, repentance, is always possible. The Christian view, in its essence (though again, the yes, no, maybe applies) is that we are by nature so irredeemable that an ultimate sacrifice was required on G"d's part. Of course, modern protestant Christian theology seeks to distance itself from this. Yet, even to the discomfort of his own congregants, the church's pastor could not outright reject original sin as a core understanding. As the Reverend Jon Smoot put it so aptly, "we are all toast." (Now, there's fodder for a Nadav and Avihu musing for next year. Just wait. I've kept my notes.)

As our congregation's spiritual leader Hazzan Sunny Schnitzer pointed out, the Jewish view is that ultimately anyone can be a lamed vavnik, one of the 36 righteous persons thought to exist in every generation. He also reminded us that, historically, humanity, and the Jewish people in particular have continually failed to live up to the standard that G''d requires to keep up G"d's end of the covenant (though, in the end, for Jews and Christians both, G"d is ultimately compassionate and loving and forgiving.) For Christianity (and note I say "Christianity" and not "christians") G"d, finally deciding that humanity, having acquired the knowledge of good and evil through Adam and Chava in Gan Eden, simply could not live up to the covenantal standards - no amount of ritual sacrifice as prescribed in the Torah would be enough. Thus G"d made the ultimate sacrifice, by sacrificing G"d's own self through an incarnation.

I don't accept that premise, and will stubbornly maintain that the Jewish position that we are all ultimately redeemable is correct. So, being consistent with my own position, I ought to accept that the troubling parts of parashat Tazria are also ultimately redeemable. But how?
Now, in thinking about the situation on this planet around 2000 years ago, while I don't really accept the concept, I can see some sense in G"d making a choice to become incarnate so that G"d could better understand why G"d's creations were having so much trouble trying to keep the covenant, in trying to act righteously. If we play out this little mind game, we wind up asking if this attempt to learn about humanity through becoming incarnate was a success or failure. The answer, of course, depends on your point of view on whether or not humanity is capable of rising to the righteousness desired by G"d. From my point of view, arguing that we cannot is taking the easy way out, the path of least resistance. If G"d did indeed decide, after this brief period of living through proxy as one of G"d's own human creations, that we were hopeless, I'm not sure that's a G"d in which I can or want to believe. Were I to accept the idea of this incarnation, I'd say it was successful if G"d took a look around, and decided to give humanity another few millennia to work it all out.

Now, I don't believe for a second that G"d chose to become incarnate in one itinerate rabbi from Nazareth. I'm perfectly capable of believing however, the one Saul of Tarsus, renamed Paul, could come to the conclusion that humanity is ultimately irredeemable, and, perfect car salesman that he was, co-opt the death of the leader of a reform Jewish movement as an ultimate sacrifice by G"d, to relieve humanity from of the obligation to follow all those silly rules in the Torah. Thus, in this make-believe scenario, G"d's attempt to understand humanity through proxy was a dismal failure. For me, for those who accept Paul's invented religion, it would have to be viewed as a failure - that G"d so loved the world that G"d sacrificed G"d's incarnate proxy as the ultimate sin offering of all time. “My creations just aren't good enough, and never will be, so I will make a final atonement for them so that they may live." Gives me shivers just to think about that. Not a G"d of my understanding.

Having come to reject thoroughly the idea that our failures are insurmountable, I perhaps gain new insight into parashat Tazria. I haven't quite worked it all out yet, but there's a kernel of an idea there. This state of "ritual impurity" called tum'a is not permanent. I may not like or agree with how this state of tum'a has been defined in the Torah, and I know that it creates a particular problem for women, but just knowing that it is a state from which one can recover through action, deed, ritual, perhaps even thought, or just plain time (as in the case of ritual impurity from menses) makes it just that little but more palatable - especially compared to the notion that we are all stuck in a state of perpetual tum'a from which only G"d can release us. What kind of covenant is that? If a covenant is two-way, what's the point? If only one party can do anything, is it a covenant?

So I leave you with this little crack in the veneer of parashat Tazria to explore for yourself, along with others. I know I will certainly be digging deeper into it.

Now, I'd like to leave you there, but I simply can’t resist another part of the strange convergence. It's the haftarah for Tazria, which only is read in leap years and other times when the usually combined parashiot of Tazria and Metzora are not combined.

Now, this year, it is Shabbat HaHodesh, and so we read from Ezekiel, which talks about "temple dues," the high priest making expiation for all the people, the Passover sacrifice, a bunch of narishkeit on purifying the Temple and sacrificial rituals, and a nice little inheritance clause for priestly families, with a sneaky little trick using the sabbatical year to make sure that descendants of priests get back any gifts their ancestors made to any plain old common person. Yet for my convergence to work, I need to focus on the usual haftarah for Tazria, so I ask your indulgence.)

What is the haftarah about?  Miracles. The miraculous multiplying of 20 loaves of bread to be able to feed hundreds and still have some left over. The miraculous healing of lepers. Stories certainly borrowed for later use by the disciples of that itinerant rabbi from Nazareth. What can I learn from their retelling and reinterpretation of these miracles? What does it mean that these same stories come from my own tradition?  I know there is something there that can strengthen my own Judaism if I but open myself to it. (Just as my experience as one a few Jewish students at a nominally Christian divinity school strengthened my Judaism.) If I have learned anything in my time on this earth, it is that we need not fear the encounter with the other. Interfaith dialog that seeks to persuade, proselytize, or convert is not dialog. As Heschel wrote, "The purpose of religious communication among human beings of different communities is mutual enrichment and enhancement of respect and appreciation, rather than the hope that the person spoken to will prove to be wrong in what he regards as sacred." Rowan Williams, current Archbishop of Canterbury understands interfaith encounter as I do: "In the context of interfaith encounter, we need to bring to the surface how our actual beliefs shape what we do - not simply to agree that kindness is better than cruelty." In that spirit, I look forward to next week's part II of the inter-congregational dialog on covenant. May I find fodder for more yet musings then. Ken y'hi ratson.

Shabbat Shalom,

-Adrian