Random Musing Before Shabbat - Tol'dot 5768 - Alternate Histories, Alternate Shmistories

Random Musing Before Shabbat - Tol'dot 5768

Alternate Histories, Alternate Shmistories

Alternate histories have become a popular form of fiction these days. As I've already taken the liberty of  creating modern midrashim to enhance my understanding of the Torah, why not go that one step further? I was sort of on the cusp of doing this with my recent musing based on the "Diary of Terakh." Imagine, perhaps, a world in which Terakh was the one first called by G"d to go forth, and had completed the journey all the way to the promised land, becoming the progenitor of the Jewish people.

If you can imagine that, why not imagine other scenarios?

Rebekkah, already unhappy with Esav for marrying outside the clan, and clearly favoring Yaakov, overhears her feeble old husband Yitzkhak say to Esav that he wanted to give Esav his blessing, and asked him go out, hunt some game, and prepare his favorite dish, after which time he would give Esav the "blessing of his soul."

She  hurries to Yaakov, and instructs him to essentially deceive his father so that he might receive the blessing instead of Esav.

Yaakov may be studious and a mama's boy, but upon hearing this suggestion refuses to do as his mother asks, and even chastises her for being so duplicitous. 

Rebekkah's response:

Alternate 1)  She tells Yaakov to not be such a hypocrite - after all, he had already tricked his brother out of the birthright! Yaakov is chagrined and decides to go along with his Mother's plan after all.

 Alternate 2) Rebekkah recognizes the enormity of what she has asked Yaakov to do, and asks forgiveness from Yaakov and G"d. Esav returns home, prepares a meal for his father, and receives his father's blessing.

OK, now we have a weird situation. Yaakov has the birthright, but Esav has the blessing. So what happens? Maybe G"d invents lawyers?

Let's try another.

Rebekkah holds her tongue and says nothing to Yaakov. Esav returns and receives his father's blessing. OK, we're back to that same weird situation. Call in the lawyers.

And another.

Yaakov agrees to go along with Rebekkah's plan. However, Yitzkhak discovers Yaakov's deception and angrily denounces him. Yaakov says "it was all my mother's idea." Yaakov sends Yitzkhak and Rebekkah away (and they go off to live with Hagar and Yishmael - there's a whole story in itself. Does Hagar at first refuse to take them in and is later persuaded by Yishmael to do so?) Yitzkhak gives his blessing to Esav, and the Jewish people are stillborn. G"d looks for another lineage to carry on (perhaps Yishmael?)

The possibilities are endless. entire books could be written of alternate biblical histories. (Note to self - see if there's a market for this.)

In the end, however, all this is just mental self-gratification (I'll use that euphemistic substitute for decorum's sake.) Whatever happened then, whatever happened at Sinai, whatever happened at a thousands other instants in history - none of that changes the fact that we are here, now. The Jewish people survive - mir zenen do, as the Partisaner Leid says. As I've said a thousand times to students, teachers, and others - unless your a literalistic fundamentalist, it doesn't really matter if things happened exactly as related in the Torah. If the rabbis could view the Torah's stories of creation as metaphoric, the rest of the text is no less suspect. Speaking for myself, the historical accuracy of the text makes little difference. Whatever really happened, I am here now. I accept that I, as a Jew, have been charged with certain obligations and responsibilities. Our heritage provides me with ethical guidance, suggestions on how to live in this world, how to interact with others, how to build a better world. It also provides me with plenty of examples of how not to do that. Whatever choices my ancestors made, the choices are now mine to make. And if Coca-Cola can use it in a commercial, why can't I. As the knight guarding the grail said to Indiana Jones, "choose wisely."

Hmmm - didn't I read something like that somewhere in the Torah?

This Shabbat, and every Shabbat, the choice is mine, the choice is yours, and the choice is ours. Let us pray that we all choose wisely.

Shabbat Shalom,

Adrian

©2007 by Adrian A. Durlester
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Are Parents Really to Blame for Why Hebrew schools Fail?

While, as a religious school administrator, my first reflex upon seeing the title of this article was "yay, finally somebody who will say it out loud!", upon further reflection, it's a rather simplistic, perhaps even naive and dangerous view.

http://blog.beliefnet.com/virtualtalmud/2007/11/the-parents.html

We do need the parents to be more active and enthusiastic, no doubt. and yes, I do believe that Jewish education in supplemental schools has gotten better. "We're not your parents' (or grandparents') religious school" Yet to simply lay the blame solely at the feet of parents is to abrogate responsibility. We must involve all stakeholders in solving this problem. And we all do share some of the blame.

Parents must be involved, must be insistent, and willing if supplemental Jewish education is to work. If they are not, is it entirely their fault? Of that I am not sure.

Yes, I wish more parents would place greater emphasis on spiritual nourishment for their children than on soccer. If they are not, is that their failing, or ours?

Personal Web Pages Mess. A (Formerly? Loyal) Comcast Subscriber Asks: Is It Time to Pursue a Class Action?

Back in 1998, I first signed up for cable modem service with home.com, which was quickly acquired by Comcast. I've been a relatively loyal customer since, and haven't really had a lot of service problems over the years. All in all, I've been a pretty satisfied customer of Comcast Internet. So much so that I now use their bundled Internet/digital phone/digital cable package. Comcast has generally been quick to repair or correct problems, and there have been few serious service outages.

 Like others, I was thrilled to learn that Comcast was finally upgrading the personal web pages service, giving each user more space, more features, etc. All their messages said the transition would be seamless.

It has been anything but seamless. To begin with, I lost access to my personal web page service almost a week before ever receiving official notice from Comcast that my service was going to be upgraded. I had received a generic announcement from them announcing the upgrades, and letting subscribers know that they would receive a message when their transition was scheduled. So my upgrading has supposedly commenced before I was even told it was going to commence. Expecting it all to be seamless, I figured I might have back in a few hours, maybe a day, but it had already been a week, and I had already called, used web-chat and e-mail to inquire about the timetable. Each time I simply received an assurance that Comcast was aware of the problem and was working to resolve it. Each time they refused to give an estimated time of completion. It has now almost three weeks, and despite repeated queries, all I get is the same stock answer. Three times now, a service agent has promised to "escalate" my request up a tier so that my transition would be quickly completed. Basically, three times these agents lied to me, as each future inquiry the agent told me there was no such escalation request put on my account.

For almost three weeks now, my personal home page has appeared to all who visit it with  "last updated on Oct. 12, 2007."  Does not Comcast understand how it is making its subscribers look bad? Do they not care? Do they train their employees to lie to placate customers? Did they know before they started this "upgrade" that it would be such a major mess, and take so long? If not, why not? Who dropped the ball?

Comcast owes it subscribers a refund for all the time the service was unavailable to them. Not one peep from them about that. Anyone interested in pursuing a class action against them?

Personal Web Pages Mess. A (Formerly? Loyal) Comcast Subscriber Asks: Is It Time to Pursue a Class Action?

Back in 1998, I first signed up for cable modem service with home.com, which was quickly acquired by Comcast. I;ve been a relatively loyal customer since, and haven't really had a lot of service problems over the years. All in all, I've been a pretty satisfied customer of Comcast Internet. So much so that I now use there bundled Internet/digital phone/digital cable package. Comcast has generally been quick to repair or correct problems, and there have been few serious service outages.

 

Like others, I was thrilled to learn that Comcast was finally upgrading the personal web pages service, giving each user more space, more features, etc. All their messages said the transition would be seamless.

It has been anything but seamless. To begin with, I lost access to my personal web page service almost a week before ever receiving official notice from Comcast that my service was going to be upgraded. I had received a generic announcement from them announcing the upgrades, and letting subscribers know that they would receive a message when their transition was scheduled. So my upgrading has supposedly commenced before I was even told it was going to commence. Expecting it all to be seamless, I figured I might have back in a few hours, maybe a day, but it had already been a week, and I had already called, used web-chat and e-mail to inquire about the timetable. Each time I simply received an assurance that Comcast was aware of the problem and was working to resolve it. Each time they refused to give an estimated time of completion. It has now almost three weeks, and despite repeated queries, all I get is the same stock answer. Three times now, a service agent has promised to "escalate" my request up a tier so that my transition would be quickly completed. Basically, three times these agents lied to me, as each future inquiry the agent told me there was no such escalation request put on my account.

For almost three weeks now, my personal home page has appeared to all who visit it with  "last updated on Oct. 12, 2007."  Does not Comcast understand how it is making its subscribers look bad? Do they not care? Do they train their employees to lie to placate customers? Did they know before they started this "upgrade" that it would be such a major mess, and take so long? If not, why not? Who dropped the ball?

Comcast owes it subscribers a refund for all the time the service was unavailable to them. Not one peep from them about that. Anyone interested in pursuing a class action against them?

Random Musing Before Shabbat - Hayyei Sarah 5768 - A High Price

Comcast's "upgrade" to their personal web page hosts have still left me without the ability to upload to my personal website at www.durlester.com. It has been over 2-1/2 weeks! I am posting my Random Musings on my blog so they will be available.

Random Musing Before Shabbat - Hayyei Sarah 5768

A High Price

Was it anguish? Bereavement? Lack of faith in G"d's promises? Mere practicality?

What was it that drove Avraham to practically beg his Hittite hosts for permission to acquire a small piece of property so he could bury his (first) wife there?

In time honored tradition (yes, even back then, they had such things)  the Hittites offer to give Abraham any of their own burial places as a gift. Dancing the well-known dance, Avraham refuses their generosity (slyly desiring to not be beholden to the Hittites) and asks to be allowed to purchase a choice burial spot from the Hittite Ephron.

Ephron does his pre-choreographed step and offers to make a gift of the plot to Avraham. Avraham counters again, insisting he be permitted to purchase the desired plot from Ephron for the "full" price.

Now here's where we need to go back a bit. when Avraham  first refuses the generosity of the Hittites, he asks them to assist him in dealing with Ephron. (The Hebrew word is fig'u, from the root fey, gimel, ayin, meaning  to plead for someone, to urge.) Avraham knew, before he even started the dance, that Ephron was going to extract a high, perhaps even outrageous price for the burial plot. What Avraham was really seeking from the Hittites was to keep Ephron in line, so the negotiation dance would end in a fair exchange of cash for land.

Alas, despite the obligatory rehearsed "generosity" of the Hittite hosts, they did not intercede on Avraham's behalf with Ephron. Ephron responds to Avraham's now publicly professed insistence on paying whatever price Ephron asks (hoping that Ephron will, under duress from his fellow Hittites, actually be fair) with a ritually phrased response - asking Avraham "why should we let an insignificant and petty amount like 400 shekels of silver come between us. Pay me this, and the land is yours." Not exactly the answer Avraham was hoping for.

400 shekels of silver is an absolutely outrageous price for the time. Even allowing for variations in the definition of a "shekel" as a measure of weight that may have occurred over the centuries, 400 shekels is easily ten or twenty times the fair value for such a small parcel of land.

It seems, as well, that a precedent was set. For the people Israel, holding on to this land has always come at a high price. The question then arises, when is that price too high?

G"d is silent on what could be considered a lack of faith on Avraham's part. G"d perhaps is coming to understand that human beings often require just a little something tangible to keep them hopeful of intangible goals and futures promised.

And we, after 1900 years of exile and persecution, and fresh on the heels of the most vicious and heinous attempt in history to wipe us out, surely cannot be blamed for our desire to hold on to that same piece of land, now restored to us. Yet once again, the question must be asked, at what price?

Avraham danced the ritual dance of negotiation with the Hittites. He paid an extremely high price for acquiring the burial plot that included the cave of Machpelah. Centuries later, his descendants had to fight to acquire this land, promised to them by G"d? (Had Avraham's faith been greater, might his descendants have simply walked into the land and possessed it, by G"d's grace? We'll never know.)

Today, modern negotiators are engaged in yet another ritual dance. We presume that they, like Avraham and the Hittites, know the steps. (We must ask, first of all, if the negotiating parties are each following a common set of rules and procedures. It's hard to be sure. Only time will tell.)

In this dance, will we once again have to pay too high a price to get exactly what we want? Perhaps we can learn to recognize when the price is too high, and settle for something less than everything we want?

Perhaps we may come to realize that a price paid almost 3 millennia ago no longer gives us the title to which we think we are entitled. Avraham knew that, as a resident alien among the Hittites, he was not actually entitled to own land. He needed their permission, and he needed to pay a fair price. Perhaps we, too, must be willing to pay a fair price to those we dwell among for the right to own some of their land.

It is not my intent with any of these words to be pro-Zionist, or anti-Zionist, or anything similar. I ask only that all sides learn to negotiate in good faith. Abraham may not have wound up with the fairest deal, but he negotiated honestly, and when, in the end, he had to pay what must have seemed an outrageously high price, he kept his word. We must do no less. And by "we" I mean all sides in this dispute.

In the end, none of the land belongs to us - we are but stewards upon G"d's land. All our negotiations and dealings can seem petty when placed in that framework. I pray that someday all the world will come to know this, and we can all live together in peace.

Shabbat Shalom,